


Muffle

by maplewix (orphan_account)



Series: best of dailysamifer [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Sensory Deprivation, Sensory Sensitivity, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-08 00:42:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1920237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/maplewix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anonymous prompted: can I have a fic where lucifer flinches at human touch, but still longs to be held by Sam? cue Sam managing to find a way around it, and bit by bit getting Lucifer used to being touched gently and lovingly, without fear of pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Muffle

It was a Saturday the first time it happened.

Sam had reached out to hesitantly take Lucifer’s hand, and the angel had barely controlled his flinch.

Sam pulled away. “Are you okay?” he asked.

"I’m fine," Lucifer said, clearly lying through his teeth in a way that made Sam very nervous. Lucifer only ever lied when the answer at hand was very, very personal.

"Okay," Sam said casually, and let go with a light squeeze. "I was thinking maybe we could go to a movie this afternoon."

Lucifer relaxed when he realized Sam wouldn’t push the issue. “Whatever you want,” he said easily.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “What you want is important, too, Luce.”

"I want you to be happy," Lucifer said in a distinctly stubborn manner. Sam gave up in exasperation.

The second time was a week later when Sam noticed the way Lucifer neatly avoided contact with Dean or Cas or anyone they happened to run across, really.

He was getting up the nerve to say something when the Bar Incident happened. He was in his usual corner with his research, half keeping an eye on Dean and half making sure Lucifer didn’t piss anyone off when the girl approached. 

She was pretty and had a bright, gentle smile, and she wanted to talk to the angel. 

The two of them were fine at first—Lucifer a little nonplussed, her amused—but then she laid a hand on his arm and said, “Let me buy you a drink.” 

Lucifer stiffened as if her touch was an electric shock. He shoved her back—not hard enough to make her do more than stumble, but Sam read her shock of fear and Lucifer’s temper shortening and was between them in a second, still shoving papers into his bag. 

"C’mon," he said, careful to keep a good six inches between them. He flashed the girl a quick, reassuring smile. "You okay?" 

She looked at him for a short second before turning on her heel and rejoining her friends. Sam sighed. 

"Let’s go for a walk," he suggested. Dean had turned to see what was going on, and Sam waved him off. "Get away from all this." 

Lucifer seemed to find this agreeable, or at least didn’t have a reason to argue, so they were out in the parking lot in a few short minutes. 

"I’m sorry you were startled," he said quietly, encouragingly. "Do you dislike being touched?" 

Lucifer frowned at the ground. “Not…precisely,” he said at last, looking defensive and like he was on the verge of retreating. “I’m not used to it.” 

Sam got it. 

"Oh, of course," he said, still keeping his voice as unassuming as possible. "Is there anything I could do to help?" 

"Sam, it’s not—" Lucifer cut himself off before starting again. "I do desire physical contact. Angels were built to be a unified force, and we often shared contact." He paused. "Or that was how it once was. I was alone for a long time, and I’m not sure I can—it’s too much." 

"I understand," Sam promised. 

"I want to be able to touch living things without cringing away from the feeling of their life force." Lucifer looked humiliated. 

"But it hurts when people brush up against you," Sam said. "Is it the same if you’re the one controlling the contact?" 

"It’s easier to maintain some distance when I initiate," Lucifer agreed, and held out a hand in demonstration. Sam moved closer cautiously and Lucifer brushed his hair behind his ear. "I want to be able to touch you freely," he said, and looked so unhappy that Sam’s hands twitched with the desire to hold him. 

"Maybe you can," Sam said thoughtfully. "If we put enough layers between us…" 

They walked back to the motel and Sam stole Dean’s blankets to pile on their bed. He dug around in his duffle for a minute before retrieving an old pair of winter gloves. 

He offered them to Lucifer cautiously. “You don’t have to do this,” he said. 

Lucifer took the gloves and toed off his shoes, not quite meeting Sam’s gaze, which was what cued Sam in to how badly his angel wanted this. 

Sam stripped down a few layers and crawled under the blankets. “If you lay on top, you can hold me without getting too close,” he said. 

Lucifer lay down beside him, breath cold against his ear. An arm settled over his side. 

Sam fought down the urge to press back into him and said, “How’s that?” 

"Tolerable," Lucifer said, and inched over close enough that the blankets pinned Sam’s arm against his side. 

Ten minutes later, Lucifer had to move away, almost shaking with the overwhelming sensory input from Sam’s soul. Sam offered him a squishy pillow to cuddle instead and turned on the discovery channel, and the two sat side-by-side, not touching but still savoring the closeness, until Dean came home. 


End file.
